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Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
3 years ago
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
My love of lists
I am frantically trying to get things done before I have to go back to work--I have three more weeks, but this for some reason does not feel like enough time!! I need 3 more months, I so wish I had the summer off (and was paid for it...I think I need a career change).
So I am obsessively making lists. It's what I do. I make lists for school, lab, home, etc, you name it I make a list for it. One of my co-workers actually bought me a book where I can do nothing but make lists of my life, I need to start that soon...I'll put that on my list of things to do.
It's crazy how much I want to try to get done before I go back and I'm going to be doing this while I'm still exhausted. Although I am toning down the pumping, I'm slowly eliminated the middle of the night pump. I've realized me being exhausted day in and day out is not good for me or my family. I quite frankly makes me insane, I don't even need crazy hormonal changes.
The list I've been working on today-day care for Connor. We have unexpectedly needed daycare sooner than we thought due to a family emergency (my nephew Ethan is severely sick and in need of a heart transplant-keep him in your prayers!) and have called around to 10 day cares! I now am going to do what I do best--put all this data I've gathered in an organized and sortable Excel document. I love Excel.
Oh, by the way I've had my first full soda with caffeine today and I feel like I'm on crack! It's great, but I'm not looking forward to the crash!
So I am obsessively making lists. It's what I do. I make lists for school, lab, home, etc, you name it I make a list for it. One of my co-workers actually bought me a book where I can do nothing but make lists of my life, I need to start that soon...I'll put that on my list of things to do.
It's crazy how much I want to try to get done before I go back and I'm going to be doing this while I'm still exhausted. Although I am toning down the pumping, I'm slowly eliminated the middle of the night pump. I've realized me being exhausted day in and day out is not good for me or my family. I quite frankly makes me insane, I don't even need crazy hormonal changes.
The list I've been working on today-day care for Connor. We have unexpectedly needed daycare sooner than we thought due to a family emergency (my nephew Ethan is severely sick and in need of a heart transplant-keep him in your prayers!) and have called around to 10 day cares! I now am going to do what I do best--put all this data I've gathered in an organized and sortable Excel document. I love Excel.
Oh, by the way I've had my first full soda with caffeine today and I feel like I'm on crack! It's great, but I'm not looking forward to the crash!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
The story of Connor Jace
Sadly, this is the second time I've started this blog, the first of which was accidentally deleted and ended with me having a hysterical crying fit--I blame my hormones. So I am here trying for the second time and last time to write this story and hopefully it will not end in tears.
So to pick up from my last blog, I was on bed rest due to extreme swelling and elevated blood pressure with a possibility of developing preeclampsia. I had my doctor's apt the following week (week 36) and I came in with weight gain (fluid) and some interesting lab values that indicated I was on my way to preeclampsia, but still no protein in my urine (an essential diagnosic value), so my doctor wanted to put me in the hospital for 24 hour observation and urine collection-so off to the hospital again. This was Tuesday and my lab results were predicted to be available Thursday. There was some talk of inducing me on Thursday if my lab values did not come out well, but thankfully I was OK and was allowed to go home on more bed rest. Toby was disappointed, he was worried about me and wanted our little boy out before I developed serious complications with preeclampsia, like seizures, but I was relieved. I wanted to have a full term baby (37 weeks) and I just wasn't mentally ready. I'm not sure I would ever be, but I definitely wasn't then.
So fast forward to my doctors apt that next Tuesday April 13. In my head I was prepared to be induced if I developed preeclampsia, but really didn't think so because I felt pretty good, except huge and swollen. I came in and had high blood pressure and finally the symptom they had all been waiting for me to develop-protein in my urine (+3). I was sent immediately to the hospital to be induced. I have to say I was OK, I thought I was prepared for what was to happen and for the most part of I was because of our child birthing classes we took, but I was not prepared for everything.
Oh, and I had my 3 hour glucose test that day, so I had fasted since 10 pm the evening before was not allowed to eat because they were going to induce me! To say the least I was freaking starving and think I ate 10 times by body weight in ice chips which was all I was allowed to have. So I was admitted to the hospital and started the process around 1 pm. I was then informed that I would need to have a continuous high infusion of magnesium because of my "severe" preeclampsia to prevent seizures. I was not prepared for this part. This was not covered in my child birthing class and was not informed by my doctor about this. But in the end after weighing the pros and cons decided it was best for me and the baby to have the magnesium infusion. Now, high levels of magnesium makes you feel hot-like feverish hot and sweaty. Wasn't prepared for that, it overwhelmed any contractions that I felt or any other pain, I was just so freaking hot, it was miserable. As the levels are high, it also makes you feel out of it which hit me in the middle of the night. Not fun!
So I'm going to spare you all the little details of me being induced, etc, but long story short, I got the epidural around 5 pm or so but started to feel pain-extreme pain in the middle of the night around 2 pm. I felt like the baby was trying to push his way out of my butt...sorry to be so blunt, but that's what it felt like. Not fun! I was trying to tell the doctor and nurse about my pain, but all I got was "this is labor honey, it's suppose to be painful" which pissed me off because I was like hello--epidural. What the hell. So they finally checked how much I was dialated at 3 pm and the doctor says "no wonder your in pain, you're at 9 cm already!" Yeah no shit lady, I've been tell you for the past hour I'm in pain. They were not expecting me to dialate so fast, they were thinking I was going to have the baby some time the next morning or afternoon. So they let me dialate to 10 cm for an hour which was horribly painful. The anasteologist came and told me she could take all my pain away (the only nice, symathetic person that morning), but I didn't want it all to go away, but she did increase my dose slightly. Then about 4-5 people come in around 4 pm and say ok you are 10 cm and let's push! So here we go, first push, they loose Connor's heart beat and it takes about 5-10 minutes to find it which scares the shit out of me and Toby. I now have about 7 -10 people in my room all frantically trying to assist the doctor in trying to find his heart beat. Finally they find it and they debate whether to let me push or if it would be too much stress on the baby and we also found out that Connor's head was turned to the side which may have also been putting stress on him. They let me push for about 40 minutes or so but he did not budge at all. I was so disappointed, I was pushing my heart out, I really wanted a vaginal birth, but I guess it was not meant to be. The doctors decided at this point it would be best to have a c-section because he was not progressing and was stressed. So they prepped me for a C-section and at 5:35 am April 14 Connor was born. I heard him screaming and felt so relieved! They brought him over to me all wrapped up and I talked to him briefly and gave him a kiss (at which time he stopped crying and looked at me :). Then Toby escorted him to the nursery while they finished up with me. It seemed like forever, I sure I was the most annoying patient ever, I was out of it because of the magnesium, but do remember asking periodically if the doctors "were done yet" I sure I was just as annoying as any 3 year old asking "are we there yet."
I'm going to summarize this last part quickly-I had to be on the magnesium for 24 hours after birth so was taken back to the labor and delivery room for 24 hours. When I got back to the room, I found out Connor had been taken to NICU because he had some trouble breathing, which then lead them to find out he had high levels of magnesium and was really lethargic. They had to keep him in NICU until he was functioning like a normal infant and not so lethargic. I was so sad because I could not go up to NICU and see Connor until I was done with the magnesium. Toby got to go up and see him and he took pictures and brought them back down to me. I started to try to pump breast milk for Connor, but it was a no go in the hospital, but I continued to try to pump. I finally got to see him the next morning and went up to visit him as much as a could and trying to breastfeed every time I went up. It was difficult because he had already been bottle fed :( I was discharged that Friday and luckily Connor was discharged on Saturday. I was so upset Friday going home without my baby, but was glad when I got home I finally pumped some breast milk for Connor and was so excited went back up to the hospital Friday night to give it to him which about wore me out!
It has been a roller coaster ride since then with getting used to Connor and his needs and schedule (or lack there of), but we have been so excited to have him home and healthy. The breastfeeding did not work out for me and I have come to terms with it, but I am still pumping every 4 hours and am able to provide breast milk for Connor and that is all that matters. He is a happy healthy baby and we are so excited to be able to spend some good time with him.
I am feeling pretty good, my swelling is almost all gone (just a bit left in my feet) and I feel like a new person-I forgot how it feels not be so swollen and big! I am not 100%, but am on my way and I almost feel back to "normal" although I'm not sure my life will ever be back to normal!
So to pick up from my last blog, I was on bed rest due to extreme swelling and elevated blood pressure with a possibility of developing preeclampsia. I had my doctor's apt the following week (week 36) and I came in with weight gain (fluid) and some interesting lab values that indicated I was on my way to preeclampsia, but still no protein in my urine (an essential diagnosic value), so my doctor wanted to put me in the hospital for 24 hour observation and urine collection-so off to the hospital again. This was Tuesday and my lab results were predicted to be available Thursday. There was some talk of inducing me on Thursday if my lab values did not come out well, but thankfully I was OK and was allowed to go home on more bed rest. Toby was disappointed, he was worried about me and wanted our little boy out before I developed serious complications with preeclampsia, like seizures, but I was relieved. I wanted to have a full term baby (37 weeks) and I just wasn't mentally ready. I'm not sure I would ever be, but I definitely wasn't then.
So fast forward to my doctors apt that next Tuesday April 13. In my head I was prepared to be induced if I developed preeclampsia, but really didn't think so because I felt pretty good, except huge and swollen. I came in and had high blood pressure and finally the symptom they had all been waiting for me to develop-protein in my urine (+3). I was sent immediately to the hospital to be induced. I have to say I was OK, I thought I was prepared for what was to happen and for the most part of I was because of our child birthing classes we took, but I was not prepared for everything.
Oh, and I had my 3 hour glucose test that day, so I had fasted since 10 pm the evening before was not allowed to eat because they were going to induce me! To say the least I was freaking starving and think I ate 10 times by body weight in ice chips which was all I was allowed to have. So I was admitted to the hospital and started the process around 1 pm. I was then informed that I would need to have a continuous high infusion of magnesium because of my "severe" preeclampsia to prevent seizures. I was not prepared for this part. This was not covered in my child birthing class and was not informed by my doctor about this. But in the end after weighing the pros and cons decided it was best for me and the baby to have the magnesium infusion. Now, high levels of magnesium makes you feel hot-like feverish hot and sweaty. Wasn't prepared for that, it overwhelmed any contractions that I felt or any other pain, I was just so freaking hot, it was miserable. As the levels are high, it also makes you feel out of it which hit me in the middle of the night. Not fun!
So I'm going to spare you all the little details of me being induced, etc, but long story short, I got the epidural around 5 pm or so but started to feel pain-extreme pain in the middle of the night around 2 pm. I felt like the baby was trying to push his way out of my butt...sorry to be so blunt, but that's what it felt like. Not fun! I was trying to tell the doctor and nurse about my pain, but all I got was "this is labor honey, it's suppose to be painful" which pissed me off because I was like hello--epidural. What the hell. So they finally checked how much I was dialated at 3 pm and the doctor says "no wonder your in pain, you're at 9 cm already!" Yeah no shit lady, I've been tell you for the past hour I'm in pain. They were not expecting me to dialate so fast, they were thinking I was going to have the baby some time the next morning or afternoon. So they let me dialate to 10 cm for an hour which was horribly painful. The anasteologist came and told me she could take all my pain away (the only nice, symathetic person that morning), but I didn't want it all to go away, but she did increase my dose slightly. Then about 4-5 people come in around 4 pm and say ok you are 10 cm and let's push! So here we go, first push, they loose Connor's heart beat and it takes about 5-10 minutes to find it which scares the shit out of me and Toby. I now have about 7 -10 people in my room all frantically trying to assist the doctor in trying to find his heart beat. Finally they find it and they debate whether to let me push or if it would be too much stress on the baby and we also found out that Connor's head was turned to the side which may have also been putting stress on him. They let me push for about 40 minutes or so but he did not budge at all. I was so disappointed, I was pushing my heart out, I really wanted a vaginal birth, but I guess it was not meant to be. The doctors decided at this point it would be best to have a c-section because he was not progressing and was stressed. So they prepped me for a C-section and at 5:35 am April 14 Connor was born. I heard him screaming and felt so relieved! They brought him over to me all wrapped up and I talked to him briefly and gave him a kiss (at which time he stopped crying and looked at me :). Then Toby escorted him to the nursery while they finished up with me. It seemed like forever, I sure I was the most annoying patient ever, I was out of it because of the magnesium, but do remember asking periodically if the doctors "were done yet" I sure I was just as annoying as any 3 year old asking "are we there yet."
I'm going to summarize this last part quickly-I had to be on the magnesium for 24 hours after birth so was taken back to the labor and delivery room for 24 hours. When I got back to the room, I found out Connor had been taken to NICU because he had some trouble breathing, which then lead them to find out he had high levels of magnesium and was really lethargic. They had to keep him in NICU until he was functioning like a normal infant and not so lethargic. I was so sad because I could not go up to NICU and see Connor until I was done with the magnesium. Toby got to go up and see him and he took pictures and brought them back down to me. I started to try to pump breast milk for Connor, but it was a no go in the hospital, but I continued to try to pump. I finally got to see him the next morning and went up to visit him as much as a could and trying to breastfeed every time I went up. It was difficult because he had already been bottle fed :( I was discharged that Friday and luckily Connor was discharged on Saturday. I was so upset Friday going home without my baby, but was glad when I got home I finally pumped some breast milk for Connor and was so excited went back up to the hospital Friday night to give it to him which about wore me out!
It has been a roller coaster ride since then with getting used to Connor and his needs and schedule (or lack there of), but we have been so excited to have him home and healthy. The breastfeeding did not work out for me and I have come to terms with it, but I am still pumping every 4 hours and am able to provide breast milk for Connor and that is all that matters. He is a happy healthy baby and we are so excited to be able to spend some good time with him.
I am feeling pretty good, my swelling is almost all gone (just a bit left in my feet) and I feel like a new person-I forgot how it feels not be so swollen and big! I am not 100%, but am on my way and I almost feel back to "normal" although I'm not sure my life will ever be back to normal!
Monday, April 5, 2010
36 weeks-Day 4 on bed rest
So...this pregnancy all the sudden got interesting! Up until this point, it was going pretty normal, every doctor appointment would be great, ending with my doc saying-keep it up! Then two Friday's ago (week 35, day 1) all hell broke loose! I will have to admit, I was feeling bad before this doctors appointment, month 8 was kickin my ass. I just didn't feel right, I was really really swollen and just having difficulties. Well come to find out, I had gained 8 pounds in 2.5 weeks, along with 5 cm to my belly (then measuring 40 cm=full term belly). My blood pressure was also elevated. Great.....So the worry was I was becoming pre-eclamptic (word? who knows). So doctors orders-sonogram and hospital to run some tests. Sonogram turned out great. Baby is right on track and everything was within normal limits. He was measuring 5 pounds 6 ounces at 35 weeks which is great, no huge baby in the belly for me! Apparently I am just huge. I'm blaiming it on my height ... or lack thereof.
At the hospital, they checked my blood pressure which consistently went down, and blood tests that turned out ok, so I was sent home with orders for a 24h urine collection. Not fun let me tell you and pretty gross...especially when I have store it in the fridge!!
So the next week had a stress test for the baby-he's doing great! And apparently trace protein in the urine--good! But where did that leave me? A swollen, slightly elevated blood pressure, emotional pregnant women! It was a bad week let me tell you, but I finally got some answers Thursday from my doctor who put me on bed rest. I was actually relieved. I could stop worrying about myself and if I was pushing myself too hard at work (which I was). And now I know that I most likely will not go full term. I have two doctors appointments this week, more stress tests and close monitoring. So if everything goes well, all my labs and test will turn out good and I'll make it to week 37 (starts this Friday) and have a healthy full term baby--that is my goal.
So bed rest has been great, I'm trying to enjoy it. Been reading, watching tv/movies, taking naps. I figure this is probably the only time in my life that I am ordered to sit around, rest and relax, so I better take advantage of it. I did get a little frustrated this weekend when Toby was cleaning and picking up and I couldn't help--crazy right?? I really was anxious about finishing the baby's room (which the doc specifically said I couldn't do!!), so Sam came over and I sat in the room with my feet up and ordered her around! I really appreciate her coming over and helping me finish it and putting up with my obsessiveness!!
Plans for tonight-packing bag for the hospital and trying to figure out how to use our video camera. Toby has been super patient and helpful and of course really worried about me. I am forbidden to drive (per Toby) b/c my belly is about an inch away from the steering wheel. My most used phrase "Toby, can you do me a favor?"
If anyone has some free time....come visit--I'm just laying here relaxing!!
At the hospital, they checked my blood pressure which consistently went down, and blood tests that turned out ok, so I was sent home with orders for a 24h urine collection. Not fun let me tell you and pretty gross...especially when I have store it in the fridge!!
So the next week had a stress test for the baby-he's doing great! And apparently trace protein in the urine--good! But where did that leave me? A swollen, slightly elevated blood pressure, emotional pregnant women! It was a bad week let me tell you, but I finally got some answers Thursday from my doctor who put me on bed rest. I was actually relieved. I could stop worrying about myself and if I was pushing myself too hard at work (which I was). And now I know that I most likely will not go full term. I have two doctors appointments this week, more stress tests and close monitoring. So if everything goes well, all my labs and test will turn out good and I'll make it to week 37 (starts this Friday) and have a healthy full term baby--that is my goal.
So bed rest has been great, I'm trying to enjoy it. Been reading, watching tv/movies, taking naps. I figure this is probably the only time in my life that I am ordered to sit around, rest and relax, so I better take advantage of it. I did get a little frustrated this weekend when Toby was cleaning and picking up and I couldn't help--crazy right?? I really was anxious about finishing the baby's room (which the doc specifically said I couldn't do!!), so Sam came over and I sat in the room with my feet up and ordered her around! I really appreciate her coming over and helping me finish it and putting up with my obsessiveness!!
Plans for tonight-packing bag for the hospital and trying to figure out how to use our video camera. Toby has been super patient and helpful and of course really worried about me. I am forbidden to drive (per Toby) b/c my belly is about an inch away from the steering wheel. My most used phrase "Toby, can you do me a favor?"
If anyone has some free time....come visit--I'm just laying here relaxing!!
Monday, February 22, 2010
30 weeks
Well, I was going to write a long blog, but I'm just too tired! The third trimester is going good so far. The upside--it's almost over! Connor is almost here-10 more weeks! The downside--I'm tired... a lot. My back and my hips hurt. My belly button is stretched so far, I'm not sure how much more it can take!! But all in all, I'm in a good mood and ready for the baby to come!!
Unfortunetly no baby room pics, still have a few more things to do. I'm hoping to get it done here in the next couple of weeks.
Unfortunetly no baby room pics, still have a few more things to do. I'm hoping to get it done here in the next couple of weeks.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
2010 is going to be a BIG year
Well, I'm going to post some pictures and it will explain what is going to be BIG this year. Enough said.
24 weeks
I should be posting pictures of the baby's room soon, but most likely you guys will see at the shower!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Just a couple of pics
Its been a crazy last couple of weeks, our neice was born November 3 and was as healthy 7 lb 3oz. Below is a picture with proud daddy and big sister.
Josh Ullevig, Katlynn Ullevig, and Harley Quinn Ullevig
I decided to take a picture of my belly yesterday. I want to start tracking how big it's getting. It hasn't quite "popped" yet, but there is definetly some baby showing! So here I am 16 weeks pregnant:
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Love Hate Relationship
I'm so excited about having a baby, but not so crazy about being pregnant. I was obliviously happy the first 6 weeks, thinking: this pregnancy thing isn't going to be so bad, I'm feeling pretty good! I was blissfully ignorant and naive because then BAM week 7 hit and it's been downhill since this week.
I don't want to bitch and complain too much, but I think we all knew I wasn't going to be a happy, "oh, I love being pregnant" person, although I was hopeful in those first 6 weeks (4 of those I was conceiving and didn't know I was pregnant).
I have been having horrible problems eating...yeah just eating. I'm so freakin hungry-like every two hours, but everything I eat makes me feel bloated, overly full, and slightly miserable (even if it's a bowl of soup...no joke). So Colleen shed some light on a tip that has saved me-using a rubber band, or in my case, a hair band, to button my pants so it wasn't digging into my baby and making me feel even more full and bloated. That alleviated some of the pain, but not enough. I don't know if you guys know, but I've always been a little constipated..in general. I'm usually ok with it and every other day is ok with me, but oh no, not with a baby on board it's not! I first started increasing my fiber intake, being conscious of whole grains, fruit and veggies. I also like to think that I ate fairly healthy before, so just had to make a few changes which I did-and oh boy let me tell you, that was the worst week of my life! I was so gassy it was embarrassing. I couldn't take 5 steps without one ekking out, I had absolutely no control! I though I was going to adopt a nickname of a former labmate "smelly cat" (he smelt like moldy clothes, BO, and occasionally, poo). So I had to back off some, b/c I couldn't stand myself! The culprit..fiber one granola bars. I found this out b/c I got Toby to try some (Oh honey try these..you'll like them, their chocolate). That day Toby had the worst gas...we blame the bars.....
So, I've been sorting out my food habits and trying many new things and I think I've finally found a happy medium, although I still feel a little crappy after each meal and snack. I of course drink tons of fluid, eat small meals, take small bites, eat slowly, etc, etc...I've tried it all, but I still seem to feel...blah. A great help for me has been chewing gum. It calms my stomach a bit and in the morning prevents me from puking up my breakfast....haven't had the pleasure and I hope I never will.
My mom was starting to worry me, she was worried I was feeling so bad, even though everything I've read is like "yes, you should be feeling this shitty" but she wanted me to call my doctor, I didn't, but I think I've been coping ok. I feel pretty good for a few days and then bam...feel like crap for a few and then the cycle repeats. I lately have been feeling bad on weekends, which sucks, sometimes I think I just suck it up during the week b/c of work so on the weekends when I finally get to relax is when I really notice I'm not feeling so great. Sucks, but I've heard the second trimester is better, so I'm hoping it will be!
I have my first doctors appointment this Friday, I'm really excited to find out if everything is ok!!
I don't want to bitch and complain too much, but I think we all knew I wasn't going to be a happy, "oh, I love being pregnant" person, although I was hopeful in those first 6 weeks (4 of those I was conceiving and didn't know I was pregnant).
I have been having horrible problems eating...yeah just eating. I'm so freakin hungry-like every two hours, but everything I eat makes me feel bloated, overly full, and slightly miserable (even if it's a bowl of soup...no joke). So Colleen shed some light on a tip that has saved me-using a rubber band, or in my case, a hair band, to button my pants so it wasn't digging into my baby and making me feel even more full and bloated. That alleviated some of the pain, but not enough. I don't know if you guys know, but I've always been a little constipated..in general. I'm usually ok with it and every other day is ok with me, but oh no, not with a baby on board it's not! I first started increasing my fiber intake, being conscious of whole grains, fruit and veggies. I also like to think that I ate fairly healthy before, so just had to make a few changes which I did-and oh boy let me tell you, that was the worst week of my life! I was so gassy it was embarrassing. I couldn't take 5 steps without one ekking out, I had absolutely no control! I though I was going to adopt a nickname of a former labmate "smelly cat" (he smelt like moldy clothes, BO, and occasionally, poo). So I had to back off some, b/c I couldn't stand myself! The culprit..fiber one granola bars. I found this out b/c I got Toby to try some (Oh honey try these..you'll like them, their chocolate). That day Toby had the worst gas...we blame the bars.....
So, I've been sorting out my food habits and trying many new things and I think I've finally found a happy medium, although I still feel a little crappy after each meal and snack. I of course drink tons of fluid, eat small meals, take small bites, eat slowly, etc, etc...I've tried it all, but I still seem to feel...blah. A great help for me has been chewing gum. It calms my stomach a bit and in the morning prevents me from puking up my breakfast....haven't had the pleasure and I hope I never will.
My mom was starting to worry me, she was worried I was feeling so bad, even though everything I've read is like "yes, you should be feeling this shitty" but she wanted me to call my doctor, I didn't, but I think I've been coping ok. I feel pretty good for a few days and then bam...feel like crap for a few and then the cycle repeats. I lately have been feeling bad on weekends, which sucks, sometimes I think I just suck it up during the week b/c of work so on the weekends when I finally get to relax is when I really notice I'm not feeling so great. Sucks, but I've heard the second trimester is better, so I'm hoping it will be!
I have my first doctors appointment this Friday, I'm really excited to find out if everything is ok!!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
The Transition has begun....
dun dun dun..... I am starting to turn....into an official adult! (is this a sign of my impending 30's?) This past week I have not been able to sleep in!!!! My alarm goes off at 6:00 am and usually I'm barely aware of the alarm as I hit the snooze button until 7:00 am...but this week, I could not go back to sleep after it had gone off, I laid there thinking about school, work, life, etc until I finally forced myself out of bed. I thought it might be just this week b/c it was a little stressful, but today-Saturday, I am up before 8:00 am!! We have Katlynn staying with us and she usually is up first, coming to my beside saying "Aunt Sarah, I'm hungry." I have my alarm set for 8:00 am, but I was up in bed a little before 7 and lying there thinking...you've got to be kidding me! I'm up before the kiddo!! and on a Saturday where I've had an exhausting week!!!
I'm expecting over the next several months to make this transition into an official adult complete:
-New bedtime-10 pm...I'll be showered and in bed ready to sleep
-I'll be up on the weekends before dawn
-I'll be able to drink coffee-black
-I'll start reading the newspaper (or on the internet)
-I'll start DVRing 60 minutes and other news programs
-I'll be able to enjoy all wines - not just the super sweet
-I'll be a home owner-yikes-already on the way!
So watch out....I'm slowly turning into my mother!
I'm expecting over the next several months to make this transition into an official adult complete:
-New bedtime-10 pm...I'll be showered and in bed ready to sleep
-I'll be up on the weekends before dawn
-I'll be able to drink coffee-black
-I'll start reading the newspaper (or on the internet)
-I'll start DVRing 60 minutes and other news programs
-I'll be able to enjoy all wines - not just the super sweet
-I'll be a home owner-yikes-already on the way!
So watch out....I'm slowly turning into my mother!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Our Duty
I've been watching more news lately, mostly b/c I watch it while I'm at the gym (healthy and educational, i should go more often!) and I've been thinking about politics, the government and everything that's been going on with the nation recently. I was trying to ignore a lot of it, just because I hate when things get so "conflicty." Yeah I said it, conflicty-you know you want to use it in your regular vocab, it's OK, I give my permission.
So I really feel like my voice should be heard. I want it to be heard by my representatives in Congress, I want to feel like I have a voice and that I said my opinion, whether it is taken or not is another thing, but I need to get more involved. I feel like we get so caught up in our lives doing "stuff," half of what I can't remember, when the real important things like the future of our country get put to the wayside. I know I get discouraged or just want to tune things out when they get difficult, but that's when we should stand up and fight for what we believe in. So I am going to for the first time contact my Congressman/woman and tell them what I think about the current drama. I encourage everyone to do the same and I know we don't all agree, but that's what this country is about, everyone coming together with their different backgrounds, culture, and beliefs to agree on what is best for the good of the people, for the good of the American people.
To find your senator: http://www.senate.gov/
To find your representative: http://www.house.gov/
To find out what the white house is up to: http://www.whitehouse.gov/
Exercise your right to freedom of speech!!!
So I really feel like my voice should be heard. I want it to be heard by my representatives in Congress, I want to feel like I have a voice and that I said my opinion, whether it is taken or not is another thing, but I need to get more involved. I feel like we get so caught up in our lives doing "stuff," half of what I can't remember, when the real important things like the future of our country get put to the wayside. I know I get discouraged or just want to tune things out when they get difficult, but that's when we should stand up and fight for what we believe in. So I am going to for the first time contact my Congressman/woman and tell them what I think about the current drama. I encourage everyone to do the same and I know we don't all agree, but that's what this country is about, everyone coming together with their different backgrounds, culture, and beliefs to agree on what is best for the good of the people, for the good of the American people.
To find your senator: http://www.senate.gov/
To find your representative: http://www.house.gov/
To find out what the white house is up to: http://www.whitehouse.gov/
Exercise your right to freedom of speech!!!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Beware...of the dishwasher!
So Toby and I are having problems with our dishwasher-it's possessed!
At first I turn it on and it runs for a few hours, without water! It was hot as hell and smelt like burnt plastic...not a good sign!! So we aired it out and decided to look into why it wasn't working later.
Yesterday, we came home and I was getting something out of the refrigerator and noticed steam was coming out of the dishwasher. I opened it, all the dishes were wet, steamy, and ....clean? I turned to Toby and asked him if he decided to wash the dishes-he said no...we called Josh thinking he might have (very unlikely), but he hadn't. Hmm...my immediate reaction: look around the house. Why you ask? Two things were running through my head...look for things that might be missing, you know just in case we were burglarized...and they decided to do my dishes? My second thought...look if anything else is cleaned up, maybe we had a cleaning fairy that came while we were working, cleaned and did the dishes. My search came up with nada. I had a brief thought of my mom coming in and cleaning, but she would never..and my house was way too messy for that to be true.
So, the verdict-my dishwasher is possessed. We are going to hopefully preform an exorcism this weekend...although the dishes washing themselves may not be a bad thing. Now I just need it to load and unload itself.
At first I turn it on and it runs for a few hours, without water! It was hot as hell and smelt like burnt plastic...not a good sign!! So we aired it out and decided to look into why it wasn't working later.
Yesterday, we came home and I was getting something out of the refrigerator and noticed steam was coming out of the dishwasher. I opened it, all the dishes were wet, steamy, and ....clean? I turned to Toby and asked him if he decided to wash the dishes-he said no...we called Josh thinking he might have (very unlikely), but he hadn't. Hmm...my immediate reaction: look around the house. Why you ask? Two things were running through my head...look for things that might be missing, you know just in case we were burglarized...and they decided to do my dishes? My second thought...look if anything else is cleaned up, maybe we had a cleaning fairy that came while we were working, cleaned and did the dishes. My search came up with nada. I had a brief thought of my mom coming in and cleaning, but she would never..and my house was way too messy for that to be true.
So, the verdict-my dishwasher is possessed. We are going to hopefully preform an exorcism this weekend...although the dishes washing themselves may not be a bad thing. Now I just need it to load and unload itself.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Update
So this blogging hasn't come as easy as i would have thought-so I'm thinking a blog every 3 months or so might be my goal! I'll just give a recap over my life, i should change my blog title to "The Highlights." This way i can just catalog the important things, the things that i would like to remember!
So yesterday was Toby's 30th b-day!!!!!!!! Even though i don't turn 30 for another 1.5 years, i feel like this is a start of a new decade for both Toby and I. I'm scarred and anxious about it, but also excited and expectant. There's so must in store for us, not only for the rest of our lives, but so much will be jammed packed into our 30's. This is when all the important stuff in our life will go down. We're planning on having kids, I'm going to finish my PhD and start a new career, we'll probably buy a house, move, do some more traveling...There is so much i want to cram into my 30's and I'm planning on doing it all! So I'm not going to be down on this new decade, but move forward, head on and enjoy all the things we're going to do. It's the future after all, if i can't look forward to it, what else is there?
So for those of you that care...I'll like to fill in the blanks since November.
November:
Went to Indianapolis for the Society of Free Radical Biology and Medicine conference (i do no recommend Indianapolis in Nov...it's freakin cold as expected, but still miserable).
Had my first dissertation presentation, which went well...i think
December:
Finished my semester!
Gave a seminar presentation for the Barshop Institute on Aging..which was nerve wracking!! I think i did ok, it wasn't horrible and that's what matters!!
Attended Zach and Barb's wedding-we had a great time!
Lisa moved down with the baby :)
January
Started the semester :(
Spending more and more time with Lisa and Jocelyn--see her new blog
Picked a topic for my qualifying exam and submitted my abstract
Busted butt in lab to get some results...still nothing earth shattering!
Started trying to work out more-attending aerobics and cycling classes...so far, average/week=2. Next goal for Feb-3/x week.
February is going to be extremely busy-we're going skiing in Durango, Co the 14-18. I was convinced to take snowboarding lessons this year, so we'll see if i turn by back on skiing (my first true snow sport love). I have to finish my qualifying exam written report which is going to take most of my time in the evenings and weekends :(
We're still getting Katlynn every other weekend and she has been great lately. We enjoy the time with her and she seems to enjoy it also. We don't think we'd give up our weekends ever!
So, I'd like to end this blog with some pictures from the last couple of months:
Random note: one of my pictures from Chicago was picked to be in Schmaps http://www.schmap.com/chicago/introduction_neighborhoods/#r=none&mapview=Map&tab=Places&topleft=42.13999,-87.84599&bottomright=41.64316,-87.4601&i=2015D10_1.jpg
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Moooo!
Just got some fun pictures from Lisa...Jocelynn is growing so fast! My sister says she cutting a tooth and is able to roll over both ways. My favorite picture is with the pumpkin, I love the attitude on her face!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Hate it, Love it
Hate it:
1. Cleaning up, then not being able to find a freakin thing.... it would help if i would organize my office, i know, but i can't find a school book and a new credit card and a few other important things that i would have been able to find if i wouldn't have cleaned up so well!!
2. Hanging things on the wall. After careful measuring by 3 people (yes it takes 2 ullevigs and a girvan) to hang up my curtains that i finally broke down and got after 4 years: they are crooked!!! And it's not like the living room curtains that are behind the couch, no, it has to be the curtains in the dinning room where it cannot hide! So I'm going to try to fix them soon, hopefully it won't take me another 4 years...I'm not sure i can take crooked curtains that long!
3. Wanted to work out, but being so tired, you couldn't even walk on the treadmill for 5 minutes, let alone 30 minutes. sigh
4. Being freakin bloated and tired. enough said....
Love it:
1. My new bamboo sheets! who would have thought bamboo could be so soft :) I decided to splurge on the new sheets because it's been 6.5 years and they are well worth the price.
2. Reading fiction books to relax. I really have enjoyed reading books lately, it's a great break from the real world that doesn't require too much brain power. Books I've read recently: the Rick Riordan series, Pride and Prejudice (finally!), and Janet Evanavich's 14th book, the Eragon series third book, Brisinger. i have great plans for reading the Twilight series, the Bone Collector series, more Jane Austin books and i have an urge to read some non-fiction biography's: Chelsey Handler, Obama, and others that seem funny or inspirational.
3. My laptop. It has been a recent addition, but I'm not sure how i lived without it. Nothing like watching TV and surfing the net...like now!
4. DVR!! I love fast forwarding through the commercials, i sometimes wait 30 minutes until after a show has started just so i can fast foward. If you don't have--get one, it will change your world!
My ending thought for tonight: Change is in the air!
1. Cleaning up, then not being able to find a freakin thing.... it would help if i would organize my office, i know, but i can't find a school book and a new credit card and a few other important things that i would have been able to find if i wouldn't have cleaned up so well!!
2. Hanging things on the wall. After careful measuring by 3 people (yes it takes 2 ullevigs and a girvan) to hang up my curtains that i finally broke down and got after 4 years: they are crooked!!! And it's not like the living room curtains that are behind the couch, no, it has to be the curtains in the dinning room where it cannot hide! So I'm going to try to fix them soon, hopefully it won't take me another 4 years...I'm not sure i can take crooked curtains that long!
3. Wanted to work out, but being so tired, you couldn't even walk on the treadmill for 5 minutes, let alone 30 minutes. sigh
4. Being freakin bloated and tired. enough said....
Love it:
1. My new bamboo sheets! who would have thought bamboo could be so soft :) I decided to splurge on the new sheets because it's been 6.5 years and they are well worth the price.
2. Reading fiction books to relax. I really have enjoyed reading books lately, it's a great break from the real world that doesn't require too much brain power. Books I've read recently: the Rick Riordan series, Pride and Prejudice (finally!), and Janet Evanavich's 14th book, the Eragon series third book, Brisinger. i have great plans for reading the Twilight series, the Bone Collector series, more Jane Austin books and i have an urge to read some non-fiction biography's: Chelsey Handler, Obama, and others that seem funny or inspirational.
3. My laptop. It has been a recent addition, but I'm not sure how i lived without it. Nothing like watching TV and surfing the net...like now!
4. DVR!! I love fast forwarding through the commercials, i sometimes wait 30 minutes until after a show has started just so i can fast foward. If you don't have--get one, it will change your world!
My ending thought for tonight: Change is in the air!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Contemplations: Scientific discovery or insanity, which comes first?
Insanity:
According to Webster's on-line dictionary:
1: a deranged state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder (as schizophrenia)
2: such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction or as removes one from criminal or civil responsibility
3 a: extreme folly or unreasonableness b: something utterly foolish or unreasonable
Einstein defined it as: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Einstein's definition is what made me contemplate this idea when my friend Corinne brought it to my attention after I told her of my lab frustrations.
Sometime I feel insane, repeating the same experiment over and over hoping for different results, results that will lead to some great discovery. So my thought is what is going to occur first: my great scientific discovery or going insane. Right now I'm thinking insane......
Maybe you have to be insane to make a significant discovery, to have relentless perseverance and unwavering determination. Scientists may not be brilliant and creative, but just plain insane. Have you ever heard someone describe someone as "crazy smart"....I'm thinking that person deep down may be insane.
So, I may need to strive to insanity, to have the drive to keep on going when most would stop, to keep on repeating and repeating and repeating to hopefully one day have some pay off that will lead to my graduation. I think coming to terms with the insanity may bring me peace. Peace, knowing that someday all the work and repetition will pay off and that maybe I'm not crazy in the science world. Maybe becoming insane will mean I've made it, that I'm where I belong.
Let's hope. If not, I'll just be crazy.
How I end all of my experiments:
Key findings: Science discovery may require insanity for sheer perseverance
Conclusions: Insanity leads to scientific discovery and I'm on the road to insanity
Future plans: Repeat, Repeat, Repeat....and pray.
According to Webster's on-line dictionary:
1: a deranged state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder (as schizophrenia)
2: such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction or as removes one from criminal or civil responsibility
3 a: extreme folly or unreasonableness b: something utterly foolish or unreasonable
Einstein defined it as: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Einstein's definition is what made me contemplate this idea when my friend Corinne brought it to my attention after I told her of my lab frustrations.
Sometime I feel insane, repeating the same experiment over and over hoping for different results, results that will lead to some great discovery. So my thought is what is going to occur first: my great scientific discovery or going insane. Right now I'm thinking insane......
Maybe you have to be insane to make a significant discovery, to have relentless perseverance and unwavering determination. Scientists may not be brilliant and creative, but just plain insane. Have you ever heard someone describe someone as "crazy smart"....I'm thinking that person deep down may be insane.
So, I may need to strive to insanity, to have the drive to keep on going when most would stop, to keep on repeating and repeating and repeating to hopefully one day have some pay off that will lead to my graduation. I think coming to terms with the insanity may bring me peace. Peace, knowing that someday all the work and repetition will pay off and that maybe I'm not crazy in the science world. Maybe becoming insane will mean I've made it, that I'm where I belong.
Let's hope. If not, I'll just be crazy.
How I end all of my experiments:
Key findings: Science discovery may require insanity for sheer perseverance
Conclusions: Insanity leads to scientific discovery and I'm on the road to insanity
Future plans: Repeat, Repeat, Repeat....and pray.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Romance anyone?
Do know what's weird? Listening to an audio romance book in your car....
I got two Janet Evanovich romance novels on CD from a friend. There wasn't anything good on the radio one morning and so I popped the first CD in and now I'm hooked on the story. Today was the first "romance" scene....and I felt a bit weird listening to the lady impersonating the male and female voices saying some things... well, that made me blush. I had to look around to make sure no one was watching me listen .......
But I have to finish the story to find how they catch the killer, hopefully there won't be too many more "detailed" scenes...
Happy driving,
The blushing commuter
I got two Janet Evanovich romance novels on CD from a friend. There wasn't anything good on the radio one morning and so I popped the first CD in and now I'm hooked on the story. Today was the first "romance" scene....and I felt a bit weird listening to the lady impersonating the male and female voices saying some things... well, that made me blush. I had to look around to make sure no one was watching me listen .......
But I have to finish the story to find how they catch the killer, hopefully there won't be too many more "detailed" scenes...
Happy driving,
The blushing commuter
Friday, October 10, 2008
CHICAGO!
Chicago was breathtaking. Toby and I loved it and are planning on going back to see everything we missed this trip.
I got in Friday at 5:00 and after taking an 1 hour cab ride from the airport to downtown we finally checked into our hotel, which was 1 block off of Michigan Ave (Magnificent Mile). The hotel was nice, but the lobby was a little crazy...it was very retro, with neon lights and crazy accessories, techno music playing in the background, and two gay clerks at the desk. I was wondering what type of hotel I booked-it was a Marriott-who would of thought they would have designed their lobby like a gay bar...Toby was a bit worried, but our room was a normal hotel room. That night we went walking down Michigan Ave and had some deep dish pizza a Giordano's. We had to wait about an hour, but it was worth it, sharing a Greek salad, appetizer, and a cheesy, meaty deep dish pizza. Toby and I could not even eat half of a small!!
Saturday was busy busy, but awesome. We started at 8:00 am out walking down Michigan Ave to Lake Michigan where tons of people were out waking and jogging. I loved the contrast between the city skyline and the lake. We then got to see the grand opening the American Girl store and walked around. I had one of these dolls growing up, so it was good to reminisce and see all the new things they had out for little girls (made me want to have one of my own...). We then took the Chicago Double Decker tour which was well worth the $60(for both of us). We got commentary of the architecture and city history while they drove us to various spots around the city. We were allowed to get off at any stop and walk around and just catch another bus. We ended up doing this tour from 9-5. We saw the Sears's Tower, Millennium Park (loved the cloud!), Theater District (where we had the Chicago dog!), the Art Museum, Soldier's Field, Navy Pier, Lake Michigan, Chicago River, and of course the Magnificent Mile. One of my favorite parts of Chicago was all the buildings, the architecture was beautiful and I loved the contrast of different styles. My favorite buildings were the Chicago Tribune building, the wave building, and Marina City building (corn). I loved walking everywhere, everything seemed so close and so accessible. We ended up picking up tickets to see Wicked that night (Toby's great spontaneous idea!), so we made a quick pit stop at the hotel to drop off our stuff and change and then off to dinner! We ate more deep dish pizza at Due's and it was of course delicious, Toby and I still were unable to finish a small even without appetizers! We then walked our way down to the Oriental Theater and saw Wicked. We both loved it! Then we walked back to our hotel, finally getting to rest at 11:00 pm. It was a perfect day in Chicago.
Sunday morning we only had time to walk down Michigan Ave to the Chicago River where I took yet again more pictures. We then had to head to the airport and leave Chicago behind. In our next trip we plan to hit the Museums (art, aquarium, planetarium, and field museums) and to actually make it up the Sears building, walk through Grants Park, take the Double Decker ethnic tour of Greek town, Little Italy, and China Town, and an architectural tour. We still have a lot to see!
I loved Chicago and can't wait to go back! Check out my flickr site and facebook (you don't have to have an account to see and there are more pictures on that site!)for my pictures!
I got in Friday at 5:00 and after taking an 1 hour cab ride from the airport to downtown we finally checked into our hotel, which was 1 block off of Michigan Ave (Magnificent Mile). The hotel was nice, but the lobby was a little crazy...it was very retro, with neon lights and crazy accessories, techno music playing in the background, and two gay clerks at the desk. I was wondering what type of hotel I booked-it was a Marriott-who would of thought they would have designed their lobby like a gay bar...Toby was a bit worried, but our room was a normal hotel room. That night we went walking down Michigan Ave and had some deep dish pizza a Giordano's. We had to wait about an hour, but it was worth it, sharing a Greek salad, appetizer, and a cheesy, meaty deep dish pizza. Toby and I could not even eat half of a small!!
Saturday was busy busy, but awesome. We started at 8:00 am out walking down Michigan Ave to Lake Michigan where tons of people were out waking and jogging. I loved the contrast between the city skyline and the lake. We then got to see the grand opening the American Girl store and walked around. I had one of these dolls growing up, so it was good to reminisce and see all the new things they had out for little girls (made me want to have one of my own...). We then took the Chicago Double Decker tour which was well worth the $60(for both of us). We got commentary of the architecture and city history while they drove us to various spots around the city. We were allowed to get off at any stop and walk around and just catch another bus. We ended up doing this tour from 9-5. We saw the Sears's Tower, Millennium Park (loved the cloud!), Theater District (where we had the Chicago dog!), the Art Museum, Soldier's Field, Navy Pier, Lake Michigan, Chicago River, and of course the Magnificent Mile. One of my favorite parts of Chicago was all the buildings, the architecture was beautiful and I loved the contrast of different styles. My favorite buildings were the Chicago Tribune building, the wave building, and Marina City building (corn). I loved walking everywhere, everything seemed so close and so accessible. We ended up picking up tickets to see Wicked that night (Toby's great spontaneous idea!), so we made a quick pit stop at the hotel to drop off our stuff and change and then off to dinner! We ate more deep dish pizza at Due's and it was of course delicious, Toby and I still were unable to finish a small even without appetizers! We then walked our way down to the Oriental Theater and saw Wicked. We both loved it! Then we walked back to our hotel, finally getting to rest at 11:00 pm. It was a perfect day in Chicago.
Sunday morning we only had time to walk down Michigan Ave to the Chicago River where I took yet again more pictures. We then had to head to the airport and leave Chicago behind. In our next trip we plan to hit the Museums (art, aquarium, planetarium, and field museums) and to actually make it up the Sears building, walk through Grants Park, take the Double Decker ethnic tour of Greek town, Little Italy, and China Town, and an architectural tour. We still have a lot to see!
I loved Chicago and can't wait to go back! Check out my flickr site and facebook (you don't have to have an account to see and there are more pictures on that site!)for my pictures!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Bloggin it up
So i thought I'd be better at this blogging thing, at least more regular about it, but it hasn't worked out that way. Here's how it usually goes: on the drive home i think about my day and some days I think...I'm going to blog about this. I think about how I'm going to set up my blogs and what I'm going to say and then i get home....and it never happens. I need my thoughts to be transcribed to a digital media so i can just upload to my blog....
So I'm bloggin it up tonight! Katlynn is sleeping, I've got a Bacardi mojito at my side, and a movie on the tele and I'm ready to blog!
I thought i would fill in the blanks since my last blog around June with the significant events since then (excluding my parenting experiences as in my previous blog: "You can call my Mama Ullevig").
July...
was consumed with grant writing. My mentor wanted me to apply for a NIH (National Institutes of Health) predoctoral grant-which is great opportunity for me to get my research funded and would put me a good position to find a nice job when i got done. All fine in dandy but I learned some things about grant writing:
1. It sucks.
2. It sucks up all my free time.
3. It sucks all the energy I might have to do anything else.
4. It sucks. More than anything I've done before.
So that was my July. I'll let you know if I get it! All that sucking may pay off....no pun, no pun at all....
August...
i got a vacation! I visited Lisa and Jocelynn with my Mom the second week of August and it was a much needed break from July. I got to spend lots time with the baby :) and relaxing and reading. It was great. See some pictures of that trip below:
September...
school starts...ugh. It's not going too bad, i have class Mon and Fri morning and then i have to tutor medical students taking biochemistry every other 6 weeks. No to bad. the rest of the time I'm in lab working my butt of to ensure I'm going to be done in 4 years!!!
Lisa also visited with the baby this month and it was great. She had changed so much just since the time I'm saw her in August. More pics below:
The future:
October is going to be exciting. I start off going to Chicago with Toby for the weekend. He is going for the week for work training and then I'm meeting up with him. I've never been to Chicago, but I can't wait even if it's only for a weekend! We're planning going to Fright Fest with Katlynn and Sam, hopefully also getting her for Halloween to take her trick or treating! Also going to attend the jewelry party in Austin at Ellen's new place and I'm going to try to swing in a trip into Ikea :) Toby is expected to get a large raise and I've already got plans for the money!
The rest of the Fall is going to be consumed with dissertation committees, and Free radical meeting in Indianapolis (why couldn't it be someplace cool?) and end of semester school crap. So I'm going to relax in October and brace for the end of the semester and keep my nose to the grind stone until December. We found out this at Lisa's last visit that she is coming in December moving in with my parents while Scott is deployed to Afghanistan until August. We're excited to have her and Jocelyn and sad to see Scott go. So Spring will be filled with Jocelyn!
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